i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
