OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
