Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So many bounce houses so little time
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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