I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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