Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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