i barfeds in our rink
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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