Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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