How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
