so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
