u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
