She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
