Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
