My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
