I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
