We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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