Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
