I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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