It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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