1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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