When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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