If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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