The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
