Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
