i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
