Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
