i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
