Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just invented taco cereal.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
