PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
