yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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