maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
