i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
