Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
