you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
