is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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