And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
