You made me cry and you don't even care
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
