is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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