I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
