I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
