Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
