Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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