just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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