just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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