The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
