Buhtt sex?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
