then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And then he peed in my hair
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