you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
