If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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