I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
