you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
