There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
